Thankful.

Thankful for the health and happiness of my little family. 

I have been processing the recent death of a friend, and I'm hoping that writing about it will help me find some peace.

My sweet friend Shanna was one of the kindest people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.  And not just one of those nice people that you say something like that about to try and make a point of their niceness; she truly sticks out.  She was a friend to everyone, caring, thoughtful, attentive, and genuine.  We shared many laughs, danced together, gossiped a lot and learned a little in the classes we had together, and stayed up way too late at sleepovers.  Shanna married many years ago, and she and her husband welcomed their first baby, a precious little boy, to the world on March 3rd.  She was a successful realtor, and was well known for her passion for animals.  She fostered and rescued many many lucky dogs.  She had it all.

Sadly, she was also suffering the treacherous and devastating illness of postpartum depression, and on April 20th, Easter Sunday, she left this Earth.  She left behind a loving husband and a 1 and a half month old baby boy.

I am haunted by Shanna's death.  Haunted by memories of her.  Haunted by the pictures of her little boy on Facebook, growing up without a mother.  Haunted by her emotional suffering.  Haunted by "what ifs".  Haunted by questions.

I will never have the answers to most of those questions, and may always be haunted by the manner of her suffering and death, but I can take solace in knowing that her sweet baby will always be surrounded with love.  I can take solace in knowing that her death brought a new level of awareness to a group of people far and wide on the devastating nature of PPD.  I can take solace in knowing that her days on Earth were full.  Full of generosity and love. 

I hug my babies a little tighter these days, thankful that I am here to watch them grow, and thankful that I had the opportunity to call Shanna a friend.

Theo is 8 months old!

I cannot believe how fast Theo's first year is going by.  He is growing and learning so quickly... I am holding on to each little baby moment as hard as I can!

Theo is army crawling all over the place and getting into everything, so we have had to do some re-baby-proofing.  Heiko sure has a lot of toys that are choking hazards!

He is vocalizing more nowadays, especially when he wakes up in the morning (at 5am...) and after his afternoon nap, which just so happen to be the times his big brother should still be sleeping... ;)

Speaking of sleep, Theo is getting better and better!  He wakes up usually only once a night now, between 2 and 4am, but then he is up for the day around 5am.  That is really early, especially for someone on summer break who wants nothing more than to sleep past 7am, but all I have to do is think about waking up every half hour (as I was a couple of months ago) and then I'm totally cool with 5am.  He naps twice a day (in his crib!), at 9ish and 1ish.  Sometimes he has a 2 hour nap, other times he has a 30 minute nap.  So still a work in progress, but he is doing a thousand times better!

He is so big.  I can't believe I was worried about his weight a couple months ago, he is a giant.

Theo started out pretty skeptical about solid foods, but is starting to like a few things.  He does not eat whatever you put in front of him like his brother did (and mostly still does).  He will bat a spoon out of your hand faster than you can blink if he's not happy with it's contents.  Likes: peaches, banana, squash, carrots, apples, avocados, and sometimes peas.  Dislikes: sweet potatoes, eggplant, oatmeal (unless it's mixed with fruit), and sometimes peas.

Our Theodorable is the happiest little thing ever.  Some of his favorite things are:  his brother, pressing buttons, batting toys away and then going to get them (aka, the one-man game of fetch), plucking strings on the guitar, crumpling papers he shouldn't have, pulling hair, giving big wet kisses, and pooping right after I've started the diaper laundry.

We love our sweet boy!!